I’ve quit a job that numbed and depressed me, and cost me a beautiful relationship that I miss more than anything right now. I spent years under this fog, I didn’t care about anything, I culled anxiety just to feel something. Since I’ve been working on my feet again the fog has slowly cleared, and since I don’t drive all day I actually feel alive. This week the fog seems to have vanished entirely and I’ve felt love, loss, pain, shakes, anxiety, fear, insecurity. I’ve reveled in these emotions after such a long drought. Though they hurt, and it was a hurt that I deserved, that hurt promised a value to my loss, and the more the hurt the more the value. I loved on that hurt because there was so much of it.
I will never ever let that foggy numbing idle life back in. It cost me something priceless.
Where do I go from here?
Well I’m two hundred words away from finishing my first chapter in my new novel or novella.
The working title is “I can’t do this alone”